So I just don’t feel like I have anything to say today at all. I’m still just completely obsessed with running, really busy, nothing particularly interesting on my mind at all, just planning my training, and getting normal everyday stuff done like work and food shopping and cleaning the house.
The thing that’s kind of annoying about self-help work and all this law of attraction and ACIM stuff actually, is that when it starts working and you start enjoying life, there’s not actually anything else to say or much to work on any more so you just, if you’re trying to write an account of your ACIM or LOA journey, it’s hard to know what to say.
Life is going well. That’s all. That’s how it’s meant to be. That’s what we all want. But it’s funny how our brains start hunting around for something to worry about, like maybe I shouldn’t feel so self-satisfied, maybe it’s not supposed to be this easy.
I think far too often we get it into our heads that it’s somehow shallow to be happy. That we’re obviously just not looking at things closely enough if we’re not seeing all the sorrow around us. Or that we’re just too focused on ourselves. But the whole point of the LOA and I do think that although they appear to be coming from different perspectives ACIM is making the same point, the whole point is that happy people attract more happiness.
And it’s easy when we’re not feeling happy to just wish for things to be good, and we just know that if only things were going well we would – everything would be ok and that’s what we’re aiming for. But then as soon as we get there, we get to happiness, it somehow feels slightly wrong. But that’s how it is right now I think. I’m running well. I have lots to do. I’m feeling good. And really all I want to do right now is get on with my to do list.
So I’m not sure this constitutes a blog post to be honest. I’m very tempted to just delete it and not post anything today.
But at the same time I kind of think it’s an important point. That it doesn’t always have to be a struggle, and sometimes – if not always – we can simply let ourselves float along and enjoy the ride. And it occurs to me, actually, to ask why do I feel so happy right now? Yes, I’m happy with my running. I’m not in pain, which is always a good thing. I’m not particularly worried about anything. I feel relatively confident I can get my to do list done over the next couple of days before my fun weekend. So I suppose I’m partly just more relaxed because I know what I’m doing. I think I’ve been or felt in a bit of a muddle for most of the last week, and then yesterday I was able to finally find a bit of extra time to clear out my email inbox, and even get a little bit of housework done so I just felt a bit more on top of things. I have a nice day ahead of me actually. Although I’m just now realising that I don’t have a lot of time to get my work done now as this blog post has taken me a really long time to write and I’m still not happy with it.
So I will draw this to a close now and just make the point that sometimes happiness is as simple as getting a bit more organised, and maybe sometimes saying no to a couple of things so you don’t end up overwhelmed. But also, sometimes it comes from facing your fears, taking on something outside your comfort zone, learning from it, and being able to then relax back into some easy days again. I think what I’d love is to learn how to feel this good, this relaxed, when I’m facing more difficult days.